Posts from former Discussion pages 

Children who falsely claim abuse against a parent

NOTE: All posts are presented 'as is' as the poster wrote it originally, with no editing of the content except for last names and E-Mail addresses.  The poster's ISP address is included as it was required to create the original post. 

 

Post #  What do I do?
From: [removed]
Date: 3/20/00
Time: 3:59:47 PM
Remote Name: 216.120.146.59

Comments
We had my stepdaughter last summer for 3 weeks. I was raised old fashioned and I will raise my children old fashioned. I have a 7 year old daughter and a 6 year stepdaughter. I had complete permission from my husband that if his daughter did anything bad that I could spank her. One of the days during our 3 weeks, my stepdaughter lied flat out about doing something and was devious enough to blame my daughter. I admit, my daughter is not perfect and does start a lot of fights between the two of them, but this was unacceptable. I told her to go to her room to think about what she has done and I told her she was getting a spanking. The waiting is what was always torture when I was a kid. I went up 15 minutes later after I had cooled down, told her to bend over and I spanked her. It wasn't a hard spank, just hard enough to get her attention and to let her know we don't tolerate that behavior. A few days after we dropped her off with her mother we got a phone call saying that I hit my stepdaughter with a book with her pants down and that she called Child Protective Services and my husband would not be allowed to see his daughter. We flat out denied hitting my stepchild and that if she had enough guts to ask me exactly what happened the whole situation could be resolved. Shortly after her threat it was never mentioned again. Until recently, I promised my husband I wouldn't spank her. How does that look, my daughter gets a spanking and she gets time out? Now that is not fair. My daughter is a very well adjusted little girl, her biological father has never seen her and she has known my husband as her father for the past year and a half. My stepdaughter picks fights, is devious and plans and schemes ways to get my daughter in trouble. So for the past 9 months I have not spanked my stepdaughter, but for some reason my stepdaughter continues to tell her mother I still spank her. I don't know why she continues to lie to her mother. I have been her stepmother for 2 years, she doesn't even remember her parent's together. Her mother must be saying something. What do I do?  Last changed:  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

REPLIES:

Post # 00000463
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 65.1.243.18

Comments
The same thing just happened to me. My 6 year old just told everybody I hit her in the chest. I have not touched her in two years. The last time I spanked her on the butt two years ago. Well her mother and grandmother took her down to the police department to file a report. They told her they could not do anything because there were no marks on her. I have a 2 year old and a 8 month old at home and Me and my husband are very upset. we fear she is going to be just like her mother. The action we took is she is not allowed at our house anymore. I can not live with some child trying to get me introuble with the law. He will go see her on the weekend at his parents house for a couple hours aday.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

***

Post # 00000468
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 148.78.243.50

Comments
Is there any one to help keep a stepparent from spanking my children. If it is legal in the courts eye i am powerless to prevent another man from striking my children.  
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 0000004c
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Date: 9/16/00
Time: 6:36:07 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.197.158

Comments
WELL IT SOUNDS LIKE A TOUGH SITUATION, BUT IF I WERE YOU I WOULD STICK TO YOUR GUNS, I AM ALSO A STEP MOM WHERE THE BIO/MOM PUTS THINGS IN THE KIDS HEAD YOU KNOW THE TRUTH STAY STRONG IN THE END WHEN BOTH GIRLS ARE OLDER THEY WILL BOTH UNDERSTAND, THERE BOTH YOUR GIRLS TREAT THEM EQUALLY, AS YOU NORMALLY WOULD, I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SPANKING SO AS FAR AS HITTING THE CHILD, THE REAL MOM I WOULD OF CALLED HER UP AND EXPLAINED IT TO HER, OR IF ANYTHING HAVE YOUR HUSBAND STAND UP TO HER, AND TELL HER WHY IT WAS DONE!

***

Post # 0000053f
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 64.219.197.134

Comments
PAS has helped me understand the meaning of "spoiled." It looks to me that you keep on doing what you are doing. Just be consistent and know that you are going to be lied upon. When you have an extended time together, make an appt with the doctor on the first day and the last day to document her physical condition. Tell the doctor there has been an allegation of child abuse against you and you want him to note her condition.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post #  Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Date: 3/20/00
Time: 5:52:47 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.196.41

Comments
I too am a step-mother. However my step-children live with us. I don't know what the relationship is between your step-daughter and her father, I do know that in our house all rules apply for all kids. If the mother is influencing the child to say things that aren't true and there are other issues, I would look strongly at involving some sort of counseling. I have always said and stand by my feeling that just because you marry someone with a child, it doesnt' make you a stepmom/stepdad. There is alot of work involved in blending a family. It is a lifelong commitment just as is your marriage. There are lots of books available. I think the way you handled the situation with your step-daughter sounded fine and I applaud you for having the courage and love for her to want her to grow up a responsible person. Be sure that the rules are laid out clearly and that there has been no prior decision by the bio-mom or dad that they were not going to discipline the child with spanking. Good luck. (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post #  Re: What do I do? 
From: [removed]
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 11:12:43 AM
Remote Name: 199.183.130.174

Comments
I wanted to know what did the child protective services say? How did they govern what goes on in your home?  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 00000055
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 10:41:54 AM
Remote Name: 216.3.4.214

Comments
If you still check in on your message, I would love to talk to you!!!! We are going through the same thing right now!! We had my step-kids over the summer and the bio-mom is just now saying that we "beat her kids"!!! My son gets spankings, why shouldn't they?? It is not fair to our own children to have different punishments. Every since I have been married to my husband, we have had problems with his ex. We have always disciplined the kids the same way. Now this year, there is a problem. She is now saying that she will not let the kids even talk to us on the phone.......3+months after they went home. If you receive any help from this, please contact me!! God bless!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 000000f7
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Date: 9/14/01
Time: 11:22:54 PM
Remote Name: 4.54.70.102

Comments
I would like to comment about corporal punishment, or spanking a child. If you are the stepparent, you have no more legal rights than a stranger to that child. So, legally you are putting yourself at risk with any spanking. I realize it isn't fair, and you don't want different punishment for the children based on genetics. Personally, I would consider other alternatives for all the kids.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 00000087
Re: What do I do?
From: [removed]
Date: 2/28/01
Time: 10:22:27 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.105.26

Comments
Missy,
I am a divorced father and have 2 children. First of all, I have and would "NEVER" spank my children. An adult that spanks/hits a child is "ONLY" getting their own frustrations out. There are many ways to discipline: times outs, grounding the child from play, bike, toys, etc.

Adults need to realize that under absolutely "NO" circumstances does another human being have a right to hit a child. Just because a great deal of us were disciplined that way, doesn't make it right. I would think and hope that parents would have learned from the mistakes of their parents. It appears, some have not.  - Concerned Father!   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

END OF THIS TOPIC.

 

RETURN TO CATEGORY INDEX

RETURN TO HOME PAGE OF 
PARENTAL ALIENATION WEB SITE

Disclaimer: PsyCare Inc. and Dr. Douglas Darnall, Ph.D. assumes no responsibility for the views expressed in any posting.  When posting on any public forum, users should be aware that User Names and E-mails addresses which the poster included were/have been archived by sources which compile almost all Internet websites into an archives. Since these posts in their original forum  were / have been online since 2006, there is no way to remove content because almost all Internet Websites are "archived" and therefore, the content with the identifiable information will remain in the Internet Archives even if completely removed from these pages.  Internet Archiving is not under the control of PsyCare, Inc., its owner, or employees.