NOTE: All posts are presented 'as is' as the poster wrote it originally, with no editing of the content except for last names and E-Mail addresses. The poster's ISP address is included as it was required to create the original post.
Post # 00000603
Is this or is this Not
Remote Name: 184.108.40.206
HELLO, I really hope you can help me. I [have] a 15 yr old son who lives in a Care Facility (group home) for the past 13 years. He was diagnosed with Mild Mental Retardation, his mother more less abandoned him there. She has Physical Custody. Jon has attended the Red Public schools with modified classes. Through Jr High he maintained grades so that he was on the Honor Roll & Principals Roll. He has Juvenile Diabetes's and he maintains his own regime. I am at a loss because my Ex-wife left him there, and he is doing so well, yes the Care Giver has helped him, and His Mother could have, if she was committed to him. I guess my questions are: 1. If Jon Attends Red Public Schools, with Modified classes. 2. He has NO other training education that requires him to be in a 24/7 facility. 3. With so many parents raising children much worse off than Jona, he requires NO Physical needs. I just don't understand with Jonathan doing so good, and yet he remains in that place. Please read the attached emails, and the Court document below. Thank You Steve Declaration of Steve Factual Background Respondent, Steve, is the father of minor children, Jon, DOB 12/30/19** and Krys DOB 12/3/19**. Petitioner has maintained a stable living arrangement at one residence in Oregon for the last 7 years while he has maintained fulltime employment in civil service with the Department of Defense. He lives 426 miles from Jon and 520 miles from Krys. Petitioner, Kim, mother of the same children, lives in the state of Indiana and drives long haul semi trucks and is away from home for a substaintial portion of the year. She lives 2,300 miles from the children. Jon has been living for the last 12 years as a ward of the state of Ca. This is a facility that primarily has a focus for the developmentally disabled. Jon has been diagnosed with a mild case of mental retardation and diabetes. This facility is located in Red, Ca. The distance from the Petitioner is 6.5 hours each way. Krys has been living for the last 10 years with her maternal grandmother in California. The grandmother's name is Lucy . She is in her late 70's or early 80's. She cannot drive and must rely upon others to take her shopping, meet her medical needs for herself and for Krystal and other errands as needed. The distance from the Petitioner is 8.5 hours each way. Father has had limited actual involvement with the children over the last 10 years because of intimidation by the mother and a hostile maternal grandmother. He visits with Jonathan at the discretion of the facility who has been willing to allow visits approximately once per month. He has attempted and seen Krystal on a less frequent basis because of barriers placed by the mother and maternal grandmother. Mother has also had limited actual involvement with the children over the last 10 years by choice of lifestyle and employment based limitations. Her involvement is predicated upon an occasional interest and visitation. The present court orders grant joint legal and sole physical custody to the mother with the Respondent allowed a maximum time of 5 hours supervised visitation per week for Jonathan and a maximum time of 2 hours every 2 weeks supervised visitation for Krystal. The court order was based upon alleged abuse by the Respondent to the Petitioner some 14 years ago and has never been reviewed and updated after February 16, 1995. There is an updated child support order of $0 by the Petitioner and $0 by the Respondent since both parents are not involved with the custody of the children. Discussion and Declaration I, Steve, Respondent, request joint legal and primary physical custody of both my children, Jon and Krys with liberal visitation rights to the mother based upon written agreement of the parties and considering her limited availability. I further declare that I have made several attempts over the years to become more involved with my children and in all attempts were futile. There were no successful attempts because I did not understand the legal status I had and I did not understand what procedures I would have to overcome in order to demonstrate that the children would be safe with me. I was subjected to intimidation by the mother of our children who put roadblocks because of her past allegations of spousal abuse and child abuse. Even though, I was convicted in 1992, I still deny there was child abuse since I was not able to defend myself adequately at the time. Nevertheless, I was presumed to be of danger to the children. To placate everyone's concern, I attended all required probation counseling and went beyond by voluntarily participating in other activities including various parenting classes. Nevertheless, general manipulation and use of guilt by the mother to control me has resulted in this huge gap of time where my heart hurts for the children yet I felt powerless to change the situation. I now understand that this issue could have been modified years ago, and I want to be involved with Jonathan and Krystal in order to give them a warm and loving home environment where they can flourish. The current situation for both of them is a horrible place. Their mother has effectively abandoned them and relies upon third parties (an institution for Jona and a very elderly surviving grandmother who cares for Krys and her half sister Jo). This is not appropriate and my children (particularly Jona) are suffering because there is not a parenting situation where they can feel my love and attention that I so badly want to give. Jon, my son who is almost 15 years old, is staying in a facility (and paid by taxpayer monies) under the prejudice that he is mildly retarded. I don't feel that he should be institutionalized as such as he performs well in public school and his grades are consistently at "B" (3.0) level in his subjects. He is a diabetic, but he is responsible and self monitors his regime to ensure his blood sugar is within proper ranges. I worry about his emotional state because he lacks a father figure and lacks parental attention and craves the limited time that I provide. He needs to be in a normal home environment and have normal social interactions with his social peers and I am the only one who is willing to help him. He has been ignored by the maternal grandmother and omitted from their significant family activities. I am appalled but powerless. Krys, my daughter who is almost 13 years old, is staying in a separate environment along with her half -sister Jo with Lucy, her elderly grandmother who is in her late 70s or early 80s and cannot drive any longer. I have had more limited involvement because her grandmother is hostile toward me over events that transpired so so long ago and are no longer valid as a reason to keep me away. I request that the court consider this child custody placement issue be not viewed as parent vs. parent as the mother has voluntarily abandoned the children years ago for her own private considerations. The actual parties of interest appear to be me as the father and non-parent third parties such as the State of Califonia. These proceedings to determine custody should give due weight to the mothers actual long history of voluntary noninvolvement of the children.a voluntarily abandonment of her rights for physical custody. As such, the placement with a non parent as referenced by the only other party of interest must be attended with the proper procedures. A possible placement with non-parents would be a defacto termination of my parental rights for the care and custody of my own children and must be heard with the court applying legal strict scrutiny and other limitations upon non-parent custody and visitation as referenced in Troxel V. Granville (99-138) 530 U.S. 57 (2000) 137 Wash. 2d 1, 969 P.2d 21. Furthermore, the State of Califonia mandates of assignment of legal representation for proceedings involving termination of my parental rights. I, as the Respondent, request State afforded legal representation because of this concern and I cannot afford an attorney. I fully believe that the best interests of the children are best served by reunification of our family with both of my children living with me so that they will feel the natural affection and bonding that they will feel with me and with each other. I deserve a chance to be involved in the children's lives. In reality, I believe that I am the only one who cares enough to do what is necessary as a parent. I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing is true and correct. ___________________ _____________________________________ Date Steve
(Last changed: February 26, 2006 )
Post # [No replies found]
END OF THIS TOPIC.
Disclaimer: PsyCare Inc. and Dr. Douglas Darnall, Ph.D. assumes no responsibility for the views expressed in any posting. When posting on any public forum, users should be aware that User Names and E-mails addresses which the poster included were/have been archived by sources which compile almost all Internet websites into an archives. Since these posts in their original forum were / have been online since 2006, there is no way to remove content because almost all Internet Websites are "archived" and therefore, the content with the identifiable information will remain in the Internet Archives even if completely removed from these pages. Internet Archiving is not under the control of PsyCare, Inc., its owner, or employees.
We would like to hear from you but please remember that your e-mail should be brief and our response, if any, does not constitute therapy or consultation. Thank you. Send e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org Or, call my office at: 1-330-759-2310.
Site revision 01/01/08 Last Update: 08/09/2011 Webmaster:
Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.
© Copyright 1997 to present, PsyCare, Inc.