Posts from former Discussion pages 

Parents' Rights & Responsibilities with 
Alienated Children over Age 18 years old

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Post #  00000b6f
Parental alienation syndrome in young adults
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 216.135.39.196

Comments
My exhusband waged a vicious war against me during our divorce and after. He convinced my older children then 16 and 20 that I was a bad person. In fact, I realize now that I wasn't being paranoid when he would have little chats with our children that didn't include me until all three emerged into the kitchen where I was washing dishes or something. My ex would always tell me to never mind what they were talking about and my daughter would always comment on how nosy I was. I suffer from recurrent bouts of major depression and anxiety. My ex went behind my back telling family, friends and church members I was schizophrenic. My mother and sister told me he had told them I was schizophrenic later into my divorce and I was dumbfounded. He berated and belittled me through 26 years of marriage and for his lawyer during the divorce he found the a lawyer who helped him with his vindictiveness with the intensity of a rabid dog. I blamed myself and even thought of myself as a bad person for awhile until I finally started wising up to what was really going on. He involved our children making them his confidantes and told them outrageous things like I was a satan worshipper which I have to admit was the icing on the cake. Because men have in the past been the victims of parental alienation syndrome a lot of them like his lawyer and other men I've talked seem to think what goes around comes around and that it is about time for women to suffer the way men have. It's like indiscriminate killing because of something someone else has done. Because of my exhusband I have been arrested, my daughter has treated me liked dirt for the past three years and her new husband is my husband's pal now because he is a police officer and showed my ex how to get me tangled up in the law. He didn't like her fiance until he found out he could use them. Now I am grieving the loss of my daughter. It has taken great courage but my son has a relationship with me. Parental alienation is a sin and needs to be recognized as a criminal act.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 00000b73
Re: Parental alienation syndrome in young adults
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 150.142.239.230

Comments
i have experienced the same as you....you are not alone at all....sometimes i am totally numb from this...it feels like death...and part of my soul is gone, i really can't even discribe it..its horrible.. i cry every morning in my bed thinking about it ...i have two girls ages now 14 and 21...they both refuse to speak to me ...fyi,,my ex was abusive through our 18 year marriage...  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 00000b8b
Re: Parental alienation syndrome in young adults
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 152.163.101.9

Comments
I am also grieving the loss of my daughter, I have not seen her for 8 years, and whoever said time heals all wounds has never lost a child.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Additional thread on this topic:

Original Post
Post # 0000002f
PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 5:23:00 PM
Remote Name: 172.137.235.253

Comments
Stumbling on PAS information has given me a glimmer of hope. I have been alienated for 3 1/2 years from my two youngest daughters. Unfortunately, everything I have read so far deals with children under 18. My youngest turned 18 last September.
I want my children to know the truth. All attempts at contact have been rebuffed, usually with their mother in the middle. I have asked others to try to talk to them but when the subject comes up, they clam up. I live in a nightmare where their silence has convinced members of my own family that I must have done some terrible, unspeakable things. Knowing it's not true but not being believed is destroying me. The deep depression I am in has pushed me to the brink.  I will continue looking for information related to PAS, Defamation, alienation affection, etc. but would appreciate any assistance. There must be others in a similar situation.

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Post # 0000005d
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 5:23:32 PM
Remote Name: 213.40.4.40

Comments
Hi, I am a mother who has been aleienated from my 3 children for almost 11 years! I wish that PAS would be recognised in the UK. two of my children, my two boys are now over 18, with my younger child, a daughter becoming 18 next year!  I feel this is going to be a lifetime thing. Part of me wants to give up the ghost, as my health has suffered terribly, but somehow, the hope that one day they may turn up is always there! The articles on PAS fit my situation exactly. I am now at a stage where I do not know what to do anymore, except keep sending letters and Christmas and birthdays cards.  Jane  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000005b
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 11:57:49 AM
Remote Name: 172.140.113.133

Comments
We Jim and Fran [last name removed] know how you are grieving. We had not seen Jim's daughter Mandy since she was 14. She came home to us 3 weeks ago and apologized to us for her part in lieing to help her mother gain custody of Jim's sons Josh and Derek. We haven't seen or heard from them in 2 years. We are trying to help Mandy straighten her life out now and rebuilding our relationship. Parental Alienation has ruined this girl's childhood and she needs much understanding and parenting.

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Post # 00000054
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 5:33:34 PM
Remote Name: 12.33.67.4

Comments
Although I am a mom, I have also been alienated from my two younger children for over 3 years. they are now 12 & 13. They have been allowed by the courts to make their own decisions all along. Of course the decisions they make are not really theirs they are to young to realize it but theses decisions have destroyed my life and theirs and my faith in the judicial system.  I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and maybe someday non-custodial parents will have the right to play an active role in their child's life.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006) 

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Post #   0000057a
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 68.230.34.137

Comments
Experts? BAH! The bare fact of the matter is that the war is over -- you lost. What I have to tell you and everyone else is the harsh truth, but the truth, nevertheless. Save your postage. You never know if a restraining order is out against you. The birthday present your child gets will be to laugh at you while you are in jail. In the unlikely event that your children contact you in the remote future, it will be only for money or to bring you to harm. Never forget that that was how they were raised. You should treat them as a suspicious stranger -- for that is what they truly are.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000599
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 65.29.28.39

Comments
I can understand what you're going through, my fiancee's daughter has alientated him, has had a baby, and now refuses to let my fiancee to see his grandchild.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000032
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 9:44:19 PM
Remote Name: 24.218.220.102

Comments
I have been alienated from my four children foralmost 11 years. My two Oldest are over 18. I too have tried contact to no avail. My oldest is married with a child. I have some contact with her husband and have tried to get some response from her. Many people have said wait until the children grow up they may want to renew contact.. so far that hasn't happened. I know the pain you suffer being considered a bad guy by everyone. No one can understand why the children behave this way if you didn't do something horrible to them... The only thing you can do is keep trying. I try to maintain contact with my son-in-law and hope that my feelings of love for this child will somehow find their way to her..I guess this doesn't help much, Just know you are not alone. Omer (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000562
After 18
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 68.20.245.66


Comments
Are we obligated to pay for schooling after the child turns 18? What if we can't afford it? I'm divorced and remarried have total of seven children his, hers, and ours. My son has aleinated me about 5 years only calls when he is in need of something (money help). His mother never remarried but lives with a man about three years now. Since she has met this man she has lived the rich and famous life style and I can't do or even match what he does for my two children, but she (ex) expects me to give them all. Please give some helpful advice. I've told my wife we will have to file bankrupcty if i have to pay his schooling. We have one child who paid and is still paying her student loan off because we couldn't help her and our other child is going to enlist in the Navy. I feel this child can also find ways to get his education paid for.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  0000056d
Re: After 18
From: [removed]
Remote Name: 68.14.90.78

Comments
I know in massachusetts, the law states that child support, if ordered, is to be paid so long as the child is in school and making every effort to get an education, even after 18, and I think it covers them until they're 22 or 24, but YES, if dad is court ordered to pay, some states regulate beyond 18 yrs old.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000089
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 3/8/01
Time: 11:55:55 AM
Remote Name: 12.2.209.60

Comments
I too am a mother who has been alienated from her son for more than 4 years. My son is 18 now and still lives with the alienating parent. I don't have a clue what to do to mend the relationship that I had with my son. How do you deprogram someone after 4 years of constant brainwashing?  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000000aa
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 3:38:17 PM
Remote Name: 216.79.112.195

Comments
My fiance is in a similar situation with his 22 year old daughters.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  000000e0
Re: PAS after children turn 18
From: [removed]
Date: 8/13/01
Time: 2:24:41 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.105.168

Comments
I have been alienated from my daughter for two years now. She is 18 and leaving for college at the end of this month. The pain is unbearable because her hate for me is based on lies told to her by her father. She will have no contact with me at all and never answers my calls or letters. The experts say she will come around but I've reached the point of despair. I don't know what else to do. Please know that you are not alone.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

 

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