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Post # 000004bc
Remote Name: 22.214.171.124
I know that alienation happens when parents get divorced. I am living it! I have joint custody with my ex husband and I have two sons that reside with him. He has taken me to court (out of anger and I guess he can not move on with the fact that I couldnt put up with his abuse any longer) I love my children and at the time of the divorce I had no money no where to live and no attorney. Of course, he rushed to the lawyers office (new girlfriend in tow) and had papers drawn up. I wont make this long and drawn out, I had an attorney that did me more harm than good. I couldnt afford to get another attorney so here i am. I talk to my children everyday via the phone, my oldest child now 9, has be turned against me. His dad has lied, saying that I walked out on them, he wont tell them the real reason, he calls me names and degrades me in front of them, my visitation has been cut back to almost neal, not by the courts, but by him. Yes he is in contempt of court and I have had papers filed on him for this, but he has never had to answer to the charges. The ex has done everything he can do to continually try to hurt me, the only thing is my children are caught in the cross fire. My youngest one adores his mommy, I hope it stays that way, it is my oldest that concerns me the most. He disrespects me and when I tell him that I refuse to let him talk to me this way and i hang up the phone, i am made out to be the bad guy. I told the ex today, you reap what you sow and I foresee that Zach is going to give him alot of problems. I cant explain all of this in such a short form, it is a seven year history with this man. What can I do as a mother to try to salvage something with my child. He is very angry and doesnt mind telling you what he thinks. He has been to some therapy, but his dad has a problem deticating his prescious time to aid his child. I have called child protective services and reported a few things to them, only to have them never to call me or report to me their findings, which were all true. Should a parent that has brainwashed a child be considered a FIT parent? What can be done when you don't have the money to hire another attorney, you are drained emotionally to continue fighting, and you get approved for legal aide, but legal aides case load is so big that they tell you they aren't accepting any new cases? DO you hope and pray that one day your child will see the light? Do you continue fighting only to keep beating your head against a wall? What is a good, saine, mother suppose to do? Not knowing what my childrens mental future holds is driving ME crazy. Any suggestions are welcomed. A mommy who misses her childrens hugs and kisses!! (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 000006ee
Remote Name: 126.96.36.199
You situation sounds so much like mine. My boyfriend has a 12 year old daughter who is being brainwashed by her mother. Please keep us informed of how it turns out for you. We are just beginning this journey as I have just discovered the term "Parental Alienation Syndrome" What I have read on the web as to how the courts operate does not give me much hope, unfortunately. (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 000004a8
Re: Parental Alienation
Remote Name: 188.8.131.52
My ex's wife's ex and me are in cahoots together because she has tried the same alienating BS with my son (her stepson) that she has with her and her ex's son. I became suspicious of what I was seeing and got in touch with him. We keep each other informed of anything we know because he hasn't seen been able to see his son in two years. Anyway, her ex has told me that he's spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on attorneys and the legal system has totally failed him. His ex gets continuance after continuance (they don't live in the same state), in the meantime, he doesn't get to see his son because he can't get the courts to force her to do anything! And she certainly won't do anything without being forced. Then in the meantime she continues to poison her son against his dad. So the dad is at the end of his ropes, both emotionally and financially. After much thought and prayer, he finally decided to do what his ex wanted all along, to let her new husband (my ex) adopt the son. Keep in mind, this was once all HER idea. Now all of a sudden it's, I want x amount of dollars or I won't let you do that. So the ex is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. In the meantime he pays $800/mo. child support for a child he hasn't seen in two years, and who won't even speak to him on the phone because he's so poisoned against him. It's amazing that our legal system allows this sort of thing. I don't understand why the courts would not take action in his case and let things drag out for so long. For anyone living in Oregon, I just saw an Oregon statute that says that, if parenting time is denied, the other parent can stop paying child support (they of course would have to get the court's blessing). This was very encouraging to see. Anyway, in response to the post in this thread, document everything you can, if this woman is legitimately threatening you in any way, you can get a restraining order against her, and I believe you might then get assigned temporary (at least) custody of the kids. You might wish to consult an attorney on that, could be very worth your while! (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )
Post # 000004be
Re: parental alienation
Remote Name: 184.108.40.206
I know exactly how you feel, my situation is very close to yours. I have recently decided that no matter what they WILL ALWAYS be my children, I WILL ALWAYS be their mommy and one day they will grow up and be able to really look at what has been really going on. The quilt may eventually be on the other foot. If not, I am going back to College this fall and getting an education to where when and if that day comes I will be able to give them everything they need. Yes, the guilt can kill you, I have spent many a day crying and wheeping for my babies 9 and 6, but I know this their dad will win if I continue to put myself through this, he wants me to always be upset he thrives and gets his jollies from seeing me upset, I told him last week, I will not let you control me anymore, not me not, my emotions, just know this, you can not hold them forever, they will grow up, then they can make rational judgements and if and when they see you for what you have done and what you have told them to be false, it will truely be the loneliest day of your life. Not that I would jump for joy if he could experience some of the pain I have been through, but I would like to be a fly on the wall when my boys call him out on what he has done to their mommy. Keep you head up! Try not to concentrate on the moment, but the future. You can not live your life in pain, I cant live my life in pain. As hard as it is have a good cry then get your mind on something productive. Good Luck to you!! (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 000004bf
Re: Parental Alienation
Remote Name: 220.127.116.11
I wish I had an answer or a suggestion. I know the road you are on and it is so painful. There is no justice in a country that the best interest of a child is all about who has the most money for an attorney. If anyone knows anything.....please respond. (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 00000a6e
Re: parental alienation
Remote Name: 18.104.22.168
Finally. PAS happening to a woman. Are you getting any help from anyone? My son has been alienated and it seems that the damage is permanent as he wants nothing to do with me since I separated from his mother. She lies to him too. He's now 18 and in college, but he still won't have anything to do with me. I don't know how to even try to combat her lies, so I lost my son.... forever. I hope things go better for you.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)
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