Posts from former Discussion pages 

Relocation and Alienated Children:
Father moved, alienation increased, 
son is emotional detaching from father 

 

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Original
Post # 000000ec
Help! We're at a crossroads and seeking advice
From: AlienatedinPA
Date: 8/31/01
Time: 11:39:07 AM
Remote Name: 164.156.186.171

Comments
Any help/comments you could offer would be greatly appreciated. Here's our story - Father moved out of the marital home when his son was 5 years old. Father and son were close at that time. Father and Mother signed a joint custody/visitation agreement in 1998 with Mother having primary custody (no court was involved). Father moved to an apt close to son and essentially saw his son when convenient for Mother (which was extremely often).
As Father and I (stepmom now) grew closer, the Mother's parental alienation and need to control the relationship between father and son become more obvious. Father's ability to see son was severly curtailed by mother (and when Father saw son, it was to take him to sports practices and do homework or when Mother had something else to do).

In October 2000, Father decided to move from Northern NJ to Central PA (3 hrs away) in June 2001. Father informed Mother in October and the parental alienation increased. For almost a year, Mother created a crisis with the relocation and told everyone (including son) that father was abandoning him and would never see him again. Mother did not try to work out a transitional visitation schedule nor a going forward plan.

Finally, Father got an attorney (in April) and went to Court (in August) to get some type of visitation schedule in place. The August Court order was weak, ambiguous, with no guidelines. It ordered father and mother to mediate and it did not give father and son any "make up" time together nor any interim visitation schedule for father and son in PA.

Mother has no incentive to mediate (or work this out), she has full access to her son and father is out of the picture. Also, Mother enjoys the fight and has made no effort to work out any of these issues. Mother also has unlimited financial resources and an attorney who wants to fight everything. Son is holding on, but the increased time with mother and apart from father is starting to manifest itself through son's emotional detaching from father.

In light of this bad court order which we spend a ton of money to get and which did nothing useful, we are now at a crossroads about how to proceed ($$ is gone, emotional fortitude is gone, frustration is high, and depression is setting in). Any help you can provide would be welcome.
You may email us privately at dollface@agelesslove.com.
Thanks   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000000ee
Re: Help! We're at a crossroads and seeking advice
From: aunt-crazy@hotmail.com
Date: 9/2/01
Time: 8:59:23 PM
Remote Name: 65.162.221.106

Comments
you shoul never ever move away from a child, to them it is a from of abandonment, wheter you had good reason or not -- move back immeadiatley and get involved in that childs life  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000000f1
Re: Help! We're at a crossroads and seeking advice
From: lacinda
Date: 9/4/01
Time: 12:26:35 AM
Remote Name: 4.54.74.116

Comments
It is normal for the courts to start with mediation. If that doesn't work then you go back to court. Try looking online for state guidelines for parenting time. Without specific guidelines, the CP has no incentive to let the NCP have visitation.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

 

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