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 You divorced their Mom or Dad - NOT the CHILD

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Original
Post # 0000003f
INFANT ISSUES OF THE MARRIAGE - OR OUR CHILDREN?
From: ELAINE SASSOWER-BERLIN
Date: 9/14/00
Time: 10:39:15 AM
Remote Name: 152.163.201.48

Comments

I have posted a few times about my documentary on parental alienation asking for volunteers - but in the interim have read a few emails (primarily from > custodial parents) who say - let these children be. Don't continually put > them in the middle. > > I have for the most part kept quite. But I feel the need to say one thing on > this subject. > > 

Friends - whether or not you like it these children, our children ARE in the > middle. > > They had a Mom and a Dad prior to the breakup and are entitled to a Mom and a > Dad after the breakup - anything interfering with that is denying your > children their birthright - and a form of abuse. > > I have read letters from alienated parents who say they have screamed for as > long as they care to - because no one listens and no longer want to put there > children through this ordeal. > > 

I strongly have to disagree - your sending a message to your children that > says - > > My fight to love you and teach you to grow into a responsible adult has > fallen upon deaf ears - so I will give up your not worth that effort. > > If your fight has fallen on deaf ears - and mine has as well > > SCREAM LOUDER SCREAM UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS AND DON'T STOP > > I'm sure there are those that will disagree with - again primarily custodial > parents > > But in the so-called "best interest of the child" > > 

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP THE FIGHT THE WAR - TO ENSURE THESE CHILDREN A LOVING > RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH PARENTS. > > You divorced their Mom or Dad - NOT THEM > > Everyone is blessed with two parents - one Mom and one Dad - and no > disrespect for Step parents - but your not the child's parent. > > You may love that child and care for them - but your not their Mom and Dad > and should not assume that because you love their parent - you usurp the role > of parent from their biological mother or father. > > Children that don't come from broken families have issues with their parents > - that's part of growing up. But for one parent to put fuel on the fire -- > is ABUSE. > > Something's are not for the child's ears - like why Mom and Dad don't get > along anymore. > > IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. > > 

My son once asked to see my hands, when I asked him why he told me he wanted > to make sure that I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. I told him there are few > things in life I can promise him for sure - but my not wearing my wedding > ring is one of them. I then asked him why. 

He told me that his father told > him that the marriage was a mistake I was mistake and everything from the > marriage was a mistake. > > I told him that he, his brother and his sister were from the marriage - and > they are most certain NOT a mistake. And both Mom and Dad love him his > brother and sister and always will. > > For those that disagree with me - again with all due respect > Hold your comments - it will fall on deaf ears. > > I hate to sound cruel in that last comment - but that's the way it is. > > In the best interest of the child - Don't give up the fight to insure that > these children grow up to love both parents. Anything else will breed > intolerance and hate and that is a travesty for a child to grow up with. > > Thank you for your time > Elaine Sassower-Berlin  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 00000041
Re: INFANT ISSUES OF THE MARRIAGE - OR OUR CHILDREN?
From: mrouette@mediaone.net
Date: 9/14/00
Time: 6:44:28 PM
Remote Name: 24.218.220.102

Comments
Elaine, Thank you for your words. My husband has been wrestling with that dilemma, to just give it up, no one wants to listen eyes roll back. the bored look comes across the faces of all who have heard it before. " Don't put the kids through any more trauma." Leave them be, get on with your life. God forbid the alienator should be accused of child abuse she is as one Judge put it " The poor mother of four" As the stepmother I want to shout it from the rooftops that she did this she took away their father with surgical precision.. When you see ( as we did when we got a copy of daughter # 2's High School Yearbook) "thanks to MOm and Jim( the stepfather} for all your love and support." I wanted to scream out loud. there are many difficult things about being the second wife but none can compare to watching someone you love go through having his heart torn to pieces and seeing that no one cares about it except you and no one is interesred in stirring it up or making it right. We will keep on trying and screaming and hoping and praying...But the damage to 4 children is done and God only knows how to fix that... thanks for listening   (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

 

 

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