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Post # 0000058f
Remote Name: 188.8.131.52
I have a story to tell but I am [not] going to give a long readers digest version because I just don't have the energy. I met a wonderful man in August of 2003. I have been married twice and have no children. He has three children. His oldest was 17 and from an early relationship, while his youngest two, 4 and 8 were from a decade old marriage that fell apart. When we met we were both separated from our respective exes with no hope of ever going back. We were both going through lengthy divorces. We started dating regardless of the fact that we lived 2.5 hours apart and that our divorces were not final. Our relationship blossomed and we were very happy. Needless to say the kids and I got along very well indeed and we had loads of fun together. We decided to start looking for houses in January 04 so that we could live together. I moved to his neck of the woods and bought the house as his divorce took longer than my divorce. The stress of death of a loved one, job resignation, moving, loss of friends and family, and finally buying the house without even having a job yet, made me an emotional wreck. I found a contract job rather quickly and was surviving solely because I knew we had the love of a lifetime. But we started to argue over silly things but nothing serious. He was very supportive of me and our love but things progressively went downhill for him. His sister passed away after a lengthy illness. Then his ex took a job well over two hours away. She decided that she would move and take the children with her. Being financially ruined by his ex, he could not fight her. I could not deal and neither could he. We fought constantly. I cannot stand the feeling of helplessness and boy we were sinking in it. We said some very hasty and nasty things to each other. We were both hurting horribly. Our relationship floundered around for a little while. He finally told me that we had no future. The man who constantly told me how bright our future was and how much he loved me...now tells me that he just doesn't love me in that way anymore. I was devastated. I went to a priest, friends, family, heck anyone who would listen. I tried everything and nothing could break down the walls. Finally I just gave up. We ended it towards the end of September. I am miserable, and heartbroken. I have been in severe depression and cannot seem to get out of it. Pray for me please! gypsyqueenie (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 00000590
Re: Heartbreaking Helplessness
Remote Name: 184.108.40.206
I am sorry you are hurting. Time will heal your wounds, and hopefully this will be an experience you will not repeat. I know you need comforting words right now, truthfully there isn't any thing I can say that will help except give it time, you will heal. BUT........ next time don't move so fast. You moved in together way to soon, and he had alot of baggage, he hadn't even unpacked his suit case yet! and the first year is always the "oh, we're SO in love". It seems to me your better off with out him, as when things got touchy he bailed out any ways. Better to have only a year invested in him then 5, 10, 15 or more and have this happen. You need to pick your head up, so you can see clearly the next man you may date for what he really is. YES there will be a next time! Take a year and live for YOU! When the times right you will (or he may) find the right one. Make the choice NOT to be depressed. Yes it IS your choice, you survived your divorce and you will survive this break up. (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )
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