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Dad got a new family - no room for Mom

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Original
Post # 00000082
they have a new mom now ?
From: [removed]
Date: 2/12/01
Time: 8:45:28 PM
Remote Name: 207.34.94.238

Comments
i was recently allowed a visitation with my daughters, during which my soon to be ex-husband's live in pregnant girlfriend wanted to phone and wish the girls good night and speak to them about "things". i denied her this telling her that i have managed to get one weekend in the past 2 months with my children and i would like to have it uninterupted, i had already explained to the girls, and if she wanted she could make me the bad guy. My eldest daughter then showed me her diary, so that i could see a picture of her boyfreind, it was signed, "love Mom and Dad" i tried talking to my ex about these things and what i got was when he got me on the phone, upon returning home he let me know that i would not be seeing them again, and if i didn't like it i could take him to court. i don't have money for this and now i am not allowed to see my children. our divorce is not yet even in final stages, and he only has interim custody, PLEASE someone help me find out what i can do ! Chantal, at [E-mail address removed]  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 0000008b
Re: they have a new mom now ?
From: [removed]
Date: 3/9/01
Time: 11:12:59 AM
Remote Name: 152.5.240.30

Comments
Try not to panic. If your divorce isn't even in the final stages yet, the custody issue will come up then. Document everything!!! Keep a log of every time you talk to your ex and his new girlfriend, what was said, the time and date. It seems to me that the fact that he's shacked up with (and got pregnant) another woman before he's even divorced would be a good argument alone for you to be granted custody. The fact that he's denying you visitation is yet another. Keep your chin up, and voice your concerns to whoever will listen. Contact your state bar association to see if there is a law school clinic or other organization that offer free or low-cost legal advice to people who can't afford a lawyer. fight, fight, fight!!!
god bless, Genny  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Related thread:

Original
Post # 000000ea
fathers girlfriend dictating my contact with my daughter
From: [removed]
Date: 8/30/01
Time: 10:39:01 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.204.83

Comments
my ex husband, who had custody due to mutual consent, had moved 4 hours away a year and a half ago. i was responsible for all costs of seeing my daughter and i had to pay for all phone calls, which were continually being cut down. i saw her as often as possible. he even would not allow me to get her for spring break this years, because i was behind in my child support. he just recently moved back to the area, 10 minutes away from me. i was the one who always took her to the doctor, dentist, eye doctor and so forth, and always paid for school clothes on top of child support, medical insurance, and dental insurance. we do not have a set visitation schedule. i am being told by him and his girlfriend that i cannot see her during the week, only on the weekends.  we talk 3 times a day when she is with her father. these are all about 5-10 minute conversations. she calls me when she wakes up to say good morning. she calls me when she gets home from school to tell me how her day went, and i call her when i get home from work to say goodnight. his live in girlfriend has informed me that this is excessive and that it is interfering with "their family time". she can now only talk to me once a day. my daughter is extremely upset with this arrangement and cries at the end of our conversations. this breaks my heart. i really don't know what is the best way to handle this. i want to do what is right for my daughter. any help would be appreciated. thank you.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000000ef
Re: fathers girlfriend dictating my contact with my daughter
From: [removed]
Date: 9/2/01
Time: 9:02:11 PM
Remote Name: 65.162.221.106

Comments
you need to find legal help to get your daughter out of this situation you are the only one who can do this   (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000000eb
Re: fathers girlfriend dictating my contact with my daughter
From: [removed]
Date: 8/30/01
Time: 11:58:17 PM
Remote Name: 4.54.81.104

Comments
First, child support and visitation are 2 separate issues, BUT we all know that they are linked together. So, make sure you are paying the child support as ordered by the courts. If the healthcare costs are unfair, you need to have them adjusted by the courts.

Second, you have a right to see your daughter and if the visitation schedule is not spelled out in your agreement, I would work on getting a modification.

Third, when a stepparent becomes involved there always seems to be friction. Please realize there are some things you have no control over.

And fourth...yes, I think talking three times a day does seem excessive. If your child is becoming upset, she is not benefitting from the calls and is probably disruptive to everyone near her. Again, you may need to return to court to have these things spelled out. BTW, our state guidelines say three times a week for phone conversations and some states say twice is enough.  Good luck

 

 

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